The first weeks of the NFL’s 2010 season have generated a plethora of complaints from both fans and professional press about erratic officiating, lazy penalties, bone headed turnovers, and general sloppy play.
Hearing the cries of the masses, the NFL is about to react and, as a result, the Steelers could find themselves playing the Ottawa Roughriders next August….
Confused, might you be? Well let the Craig Alielo, NFL’s Spokesman, who spoke at a secret Saturday night press conference in Saskatchewan, enlighten you:
Many observers have noted the unusually sloppy play evident during the first weeks of the 2010 NFL season and tied that to the increasing infrequency of starters playing in the preseason. Against this backdrop, many have asked, ‘will this only get worse when the number of preseason games is reduced by half to make way for the 18 game season?’
Today, we are happy to say we can answer those critics with an emphatic ‘No,’ as the plan we are announcing today assures.
When the NFL moves to the 18 game season NFL teams will play two preseason games against other league teams in addition to playing one full-length scrimmage against teams from the Canadian Football League.
Scrimmaging extensively against CFL teams will reduce the threat of injury while giving NFL franchises an accurate simulation of game-time action that allows teams to build the cohesion necessary for crisp play once the regular season begins.
Finally, this arrangement will also be mutually beneficial to the developmental goals of both leagues.
After making the bombshell announcement, the erstwhile NFL spokesman did not entertain questions, but La Toalla Terrible cut him off at the pass as he was en route to the WC.
Would these scrimmages follow with CFL rules or NFL rules?
“NFL rules, but we think we might just go ahead and give them their 12th player to make it fair.”
How will this reduce the threat of injury?
“Have you seen how small some of those Canadian’s can get?”
And the fact that there are more NFL team than CFL franchises?
“LOGISTICS will not thwart The Commissioner’s mandate to meet the fan’s demands!”
The final question relating this business about “mutually beneficial to the developmental goals” drew this exasperated retort:
When the regular season extends into January teams are going to be playing their 4th and 5th strings… Just WHAT talent pool do you think GM’s will dip into to fill their backup slots? [Pause]
Heck, we’re giving these guys free auditions while helping clubs scrimp on scouting expenses. Now PLEASE let me be, I really have to GO…
All of this is quite the shock to be sure. It is uncertain when the NFL will release more information on this, but you can be sure that La Toalla Terrible will be right on top of it (or at least somewhere close….)
La Toalla Terrible’s commentary appears occasionally in Steel Curtain Rising, and provides readers with a jest-filled slice of life from the Bizzaro side of Steelers Nation. To read more rants from La Toalla Terrible (that’s Terrible Towel in Spanish), click here.
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